Dear Alexis

To my daughter Alexis.

Your due date is getting so close!  I am both excited and completely terrified at the same time.  I can't wait to hold you and kiss your sweet little face.  I am so looking forward to being a mommy to a little girl and later best friends.  As you probably know, I am extremely close with my mom and hope WISH that we have the same type of relationship as you grow up.  I have been a mommy to a little boy for the past almost 3 years and absolutely love it!  As a mother to a son, my job is simple.  I protect, care for, and love.  That is it.  It is your daddy's job to teach Hudson how to be a man.  My job is just to love the heck out of that little boy.   With a little girl (you)  I feel some added pressure.  That is what I'm mostly scared of....

Sure, I'm a little nervous about your delivery.  There are just so many unknowns.  Will it be a complete surprise?  Will it be quick?  Will it be painful...?   But your actual birth is just one day.  In the grand scheme of things, it is what happens after birth I am most scared of.  I feel this responsibility to be a better woman/mother so that I can be an example to you.  The past few days I have found myself thinking about all the things my grandma and mom taught me.  ex.  how to set a table, make a bed, do laundry, put on makeup, how to dress, be kind, compassionate, a good caregiver.....  Some of these skills I use on a daily basis.  Others I barely remember.

Am I "woman enough" to be a good mother to a little girl?

Alexis, I am not a feminist, but I'm not completely old-fashioned either.  I believe as a girl, you can do whatever you put your mind to.  I think education is important and if you want to be president of the United States, well, go for it.  But if one day you decide that you want to manage a home and family, that's just as wonderful and important.  With that being said, I do think it is important to teach you everything I know (remember) about the "old school" ways of womanhood.  :)

I want to teach you to take pride in your appearance and at the same time have confidence to be exactly who you are.

I want you to be able to set the table and throw a dinner party while at the same time juggling a hectic work schedule and deadlines (whatever you choose)

I want to teach you compassion, kindness, honestly, integrity, dedication while at the same time teach you to have a voice and an opinion.

All of these things (and more) made me evaluate how I am living.   I guess what I'm trying to say is that  I am scared that I won't be the mother/teacher that you need.  I need to make changes to my life so that I can be a good example to you.  Does that make any sense?

Alexis, I am so excited for your arrival.  Going from a family of three to a family of four is going to be an adjustment, but one we are all looking forward to.  I love you so much and hope that when you are 28 and look back at your life you will know just how much I love you.  I hope you will love me even though I know I have failed you many times along the way.  

Being a parent doesn't mean you are perfect, know everything, or get it right all the time.  Being a parent means loving your children and doing what you believe is best for them.  One day hopefully you will see that your daddy and I have always wanted what was best for you and tried to make good decisions.

We love you with all our hearts.

Love,
Mommy & Daddy