Confessions of a new mommy

Before having Hudson I was completely naive to all the challenges that came along with raising and taking care of a baby!  I didn't give mom's the credit that they deserved.  It is a full time job that doesn't end at 6:00pm and is 100% emotionally draining.  With that said, I cherish every minute of it.  It just makes me laugh at how ignorant I was before becoming a mommy myself. 

When I was pregnant I read so many books on pregnancy, newborn care, and raising children.  I had a plan on how Hudson's first year would go.  He would be happy all the time except for when he was trying to tell me he was hungry and we would cuddle and laugh all day and sleep all night.  He would catch on to breastfeeding really fast and his poop would not stink at all!  I (knowing all about children...haha) would always keep a cool head and know exactly what my baby wanted/needed.  Steve and I would both want to do everything for our baby and we would share the responsibility 50/50.  My house would be clean, I would have time to cook (because Hudson would sleep at all the right times), and exercise every day!  Life would be perfect and I would be thin again a month later!

Then Hudson was born!  My plan was tossed out the window and I have gone into survival mode!  He is now just a day shy of one month old and life is nothing like I expected it would be!  We started out trying to keep to a schedule, but that quickly turned into a BIG problem.  Babies are not logical, they need what they need.  Hudson started getting restless at night and that meant there were about 72 hours (3 days) with zero sleep!  That was not part of the plan!  I am no longer even trying to exercise because whenever I get a chance, I am sleeping.  Sleep trumps just about every other responsibility or obligation I previously had (except for my sweet baby boy).  I am learning that unless I plan on going somewhere PJ's are all I am going to wear because it is just not worth a) doing all that extra laundry b) I'm going to get spit up on and/or peed on so what's the point?!?  Also, babies are not quiet!  They make noises all the time!  Some of them I have decoded, but others still stump me!  There are so many other things that I just didn't anticipate.  I am sure God is up there just laughing at "my plans".

Here are some of the biggest things that have changed:

• Doing what I want, when I want - being a servant to my 3 almost 4 week old baby
• Having time to spend with Steve - A kiss in the morning and a kiss at night if it's a good day
• Knowing that I will be able to sleep 8 hours every night - knowing I won't get to sleep at night and just trying to accumulate at least 4 hours of sleep throughout the day so I can get by.
• Getting to eat out - limiting my restaurants to only places that have a drive through or deliver
• Watching a few TV shows I like when they come on - DVRing EVERYTHING and maybe getting to watch them a week or so later.
• Cleaning and cooking daily - we are lucky if it happens every other week and recycling clothing until they no longer pass the smell test or I get puked on.
• Being a little uptight -  being humbled and having the topic of most of my conversations revolve around one of three things:  baby poop, baby vomit, and/or how cute the baby is.
• Willing to wear cute cloths even when they are uncomfortable - wearing only comfortable and practical  clothing even if it looks horrible
• long showers, shaving my legs, doing my hair and makeup... - I have mastered the 2 minute shower, only shampoo, leave in conditioner, air dried hair, no makeup
• You realize that your heart is so full of love for another person that sometimes it feels like it will literally burst.
• Going out with friends, drinking wine, and dancing was a great night - wearing fuzzy socks, flannel PJ's, curling up with your husband and baby on the couch, watching a funny movie, and going to bed early is the best date night imaginable
• You appreciate your own mother (and father) more now that you have walked in their shoes.  
• Your family becomes even more important (if that is even possible).
• Packing for a weekend trip in 15 minutes or less - Packing for a weekend trip and not being able to fit everything for the baby in the car, let alone any of your things....God forbid you forget something that the baby will NEED over the next two days!
• Being close to family and chatting regularly - talking to family multiple times a day and sending pictures via text message and e-mail  every hour.
• Sharing chores and everyday responsibilities with Steve fairly evenly - me taking care of the baby, Steve working, no house work getting done. 

It is so funny to look back and realize how my priorities have changed.  This past month has been nothing short of a challenge.  In the beginning I found myself resisting all the new changes... slowly over time I have learned to let go of the life I had before.  That has been the biggest obstacle.  Now that I have realized that life really does change when you have children and accepted it, the easier and happier we all are.  I am adapting to my new role as a mommy to the most perfect baby.  I am adapting to being a wife and a mom.  I am adapting to sleepless nights and a noisy house.

I love Hudson more than life itself.  I would do anything for him and to protect him.  Lately, he has been suffering from reflux.  Today we had an appointment with a specialist to do a swallow test.  I was supposed to withhold food from him for about 6 hours before his test.  About an hour before the test started, Hudson began crying and screaming for food.  I broke down and started bawling.  His sadness physically hurt me.  I almost got up and left the doctors appointment right then and there to take care of him.  Thankfully I stayed because we were able to find out that part of  the reason he is spitting up and uncomfortable so often was/is because his stomach is not emptying into his intestines fast enough.  So, after a period of time what is in there gets regurgitated back up.  The kind doctor informed us that there is a medicine out there that will allow food to empty out of his tummy faster, so that is good news.  We are just waiting to hear back from Hudson's pediatrician to see if that is an option for Hudson.  Medically he is healthy, but the reflux is causing him discomfort and pain.  He is gaining weight so that is always good.  My little guy now weighs 9lbs 15.5oz! 

It is so hard to believe that Hudson is almost a month old.  It is so weird because sometimes it seems like he has been with us always and other times I feel like the doctor put him in my arms for the first time just yesterday!  Looking at pictures from his birthday, it blows my mind how much he has changed physically!  His face looks completely different today than it did just four short weeks ago!  He still looks a lot like his daddy, but every day he resembles me a little more.  He snores when he sleeps sometimes, he makes the cutest faces when he stretches, I love how he holds my finger and smiles.  Even though  its a tough job being a mom, it is so worth it.  I am 100% totally and completely in love and obsessed with HUDSON.  He has me wrapped around his little finger and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Hudson 1 month ago!

Hudson yesterday 11-2-11...look how he has changed!

In the past month my life has changed for the better.  I have grown as a person and realized some of my own selfish ways.  I have learned to be more flexible.  I thank God every day for my family and all that he is doing in our lives.

Sorry, this was completely random, but I have had a lot on my mind the past few days.  :)