There are no words that can accurately describe tragedy like what happened today. I have lost loved ones, but non that were not ready to be with God in heaven (Grandparents). I don't know exactly how to put to words the emotions that ran through me (and the rest of the nation I'm sure) after hearing of the mass elementary school shooting leaving 20 children and 6 adults dead. How can people be so evil? Some may wonder how God could let horrible things like this occur.
A good friend reminded me today that God loves us. We are natural born sinners and yet, God STILL loves us. So much so that he sent his perfect son to die for all of us to take away our sin. God also gave us free will so that we could choose to love and follow him. He is our redemption and our savior. I pray that God wraps his loving arms around these families effected and comforts them in this time of grief. I also pray that these families cling to God and his love for them.
Even as a Christian woman, I must admit that I am struggling with how I feel about the man responsible for this tragedy. Some would say turn the other cheek and forgive. All I want to say is that I wish he would have had the courage NOT to kill himself so that the families and loved ones could have a crack at him. To make him feel the pain that he caused them. I'm not going to lie. I prayed to God that he bring justice to those families. That He send the murderous soul to the pits of hell to be tormented for all eternity. BUT THEN I had to stop myself. I apologized to God. God is more than capable of dealing with this man, his actions, and all effected. Give it up to God.
Trust in Him. He is the only way. Without him, we are angry, vengeful, hateful beings. But because of him, we are free.
Through this horrible act of violence I am reminded that God is hope and love.
The only way to move forward from something like this is to believe that God is in control. That He is our salvation.
God have mercy on our souls.
Hudson,
As you can probably tell, I am not a perfect person. I struggle with questions and don't understand so much. But I believe that God has a plan. It is bigger than me, you, this family or even this country. We don't always know why bad things happen. It's life. Thankfully, this is not our eternal home. Trust God. Follow God. Get to know God, s that when he tells you something, you hear him. This will not make your life any easier necessarily and wont guarantee that you never get hurt. But it is a road that will lead you to your eternal father in heaven.
When I first heard the news today, we had just gotten home from visiting friends. You were exhausted and passed out. So, I had put you in your crib to let you sleep. I went in the living room, turned on the TV, and sat in shock for a few minutes. Tears were rolling down my face as I pictured scared children (In my mind of corse I pictured you), and the panicked parents. Putting myself in their position caused me to start sobbing. I couldn't take it any more. I needed you in my arms. I need to feel you breathing. I held you as you slept for nearly an hour. You slept and I prayed. I prayed for strength and comfort for those families. I prayed for peace and understanding. I prayed for all the injustices done that we never hear about on a daily basis. And I cried.
We don't know what tomorrow brings, but I want you to know that we (your parents and family) love you so much. I think I tell you often, but maybe it isn't enough. Life is so short not to make sure the people you care about know they are loved. God loves you. I hope you know that we love you more than life itself and that nothing will or can ever change that.
Sorry for all the rambling. My mind is full and my heart is heavy. I hope this makes sense.
Love,
Mommy
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